marriages

We attended a wedding recently and while we sat waiting for the groom and bride to dismiss us, Bill remembered advice he gave to another couple at their wedding a few years ago. He told them it wasn't easy. It was more difficult than they thought and if they ever needed to call us, they should.

We don't all have the exact same experiences, but in most cases we can empathize with our friends. In some rare cases I have found that we have shared the same experiences, which we laugh about.

Bill and I were also just musing over why our friends choose to confide in us. What did we ever do to "deserve" their trust? Yikes! Should we be able to figure out that answer? Or is it just who we are? I offered that we have never hidden our emotions. We don't try to pretend that everything is perfect all the time. We don't always have a smile on our faces. I don't think we take our anger out on our friends, but we don't hide it either. We know, and we understand and then we grow with each discussion (some people call them arguments).

We certainly don't have all the answers and we continue to struggle. On top of that, we're the lucky ones who don't have kids thrown into the mix. We see so many people whose marriages aren't strong, go and make the decision that children will make things better/make them happier/fix what's wrong/fill a void. And we look at each other and ask how? How will that help who you are? We also know people who have fixed their relationships. And yet others who are just discovering their problems, yet we saw the neon signs flashing long ago.

All I know is that communication is the key. Read books, find a counselor, get help, call your friends. Don't try to "fix" it all by yourself. We aren't meant to be alone in this world. We can help each other.

Lean on me and I'll lean on you. And together we can get through this.