on saying goodbye

As a product of the United Methodist Church, I gave myself a pep talk this morning that sounded something like this: "You have seen many pastors move on. You will not cry when Jennie leaves because you will see her again. She's not moving to Mars. It's not like the end of your senior year of high school and the foreign exchange students whom you became close friends are going back home and you don't know when (if ever) you will see them again. Chances are you'll see Jennie next year at Annual Conference. This is not a sad day, you won't cry."

Then came her sermon on Pentecost, the Holy Spirit and graduation speeches. It's not about you, as the individual. It's about the journey you take and who you become on that journey. It was toward the end of the sermon that my tears fell; after biting my lip and staring intently at the stained glass window, which had worked up until the end. And then I could no longer help myself. I wasn't crying because she was leaving, I was crying because her message hit home. I know who I am because of the journey I have taken. I have trusted God, and tried to listen to His voice. I have gone places I never thought I would go (New Jersey) and have turned out... no. Am still becoming the woman I am meant to be. Because each day I learn something new. Because I have friends who love me. Because I try new things. Because I try. Because I fail and I learn from my mistakes and I try again.

It's not especially easy for someone to say good bye. I prefer something like, see you later. I've not had too difficult a time moving on because of all the moving I have done. It still doesn't make it easy, but hopefully, someday, I'll get to see you again. Never say never. We made it back to Savannah!

So go ahead and make mistakes. Take the road less traveled and make a difference. It's not about finding yourself, it's about finding who you are as you change the world. And don't ever say good bye.